The Last Night

'Sometimes things that are meant to be never happen. Sometimes feelings that have been there always, that will never change cannot be released. The days pass, the weeks, the months of love that will never be able to be shown, each painful moment bringing just another reminder of where you wish you could be, and where you are.

It may be a selfish thing to do, it may hurt some, but it's the only way to move forward. Those who read this will move on, will continue forth with their lives. As the days pass, the memories will slowly fade as I have faded over the past months of knowing one that I knew from the first time I saw her I would always love. The hurt will disappear, and people will move on, until I become just another soul lost to the worlds grasp over life and death. No one will ever understand.'

Jason sniffled again as the tears continued to roll down his cheeks looking up to the photo, to the face of the one that he loved with all his being, with all his heart.

The one that he truly, was giving his life for

She would never know though, never understand the truth behind his decision. Never comprehend just what he was doing, why he was doing it. Once more he would simply be pressed aside to the movements of her life. As he was for everyone. Called upon when needed, otherwise ignored.

It was the story of his life, and the story of his death.

'No one will ever understand the pain I go through each day, having to watch them together. Having to see her face in my thoughts and dreams every night and every day. Having her face painted onto my mind, never to be removed. The pain becomes too much after you put up with that. Each minute tears my heart deeper, each hour pulling the pieces further apart.

The bullet is only a symbol. I have already died to this world. Already I have placed my soul upon the altar of death with the knowledge that no matter what I do, no matter where I go. I will always be second place.

The bullet kills the physical body that has already died of a broken heart. I have died for her, for the love I hold for her. For the continuation of her happiness. All of you will move on, all of you will continue. My memory will swiftly fade from your minds as you step forward in life.'

He paused, reading the note over before scrawling his name at the bottom of the page. It was done, the path was set.

The abyss drew closer.

Jason only had a few steps to take before he finished the journey.

He looked over the note once more, folded it neatly and looked back into his house, that last glance of the home that he had lived in for the past few months. Eyes shifted back out to the scene outside. His last view. He cried openly as the bridge of 'always' came on. Singing along with the words.

"If you told me to cry for you
I could
If you told me to die, for you
I would
Take a look at my face
There's no price I won't pay
To say these words to you."

Tears streamed down his face, each one creating it's own staining tendril as it ran down and fell. His hand reached out, fingers caressing along the cool metal of the guns barrel. A shiver running down his spine as the coolness of the metal reached his nerves. That coolness of awaiting death.

His other hand reached out to pick up the photo. His lips moved down to press against the photo of the one he was doing this all for. The one that he loved so much that he would take his own life in order to allow her to continue her own free of pain, free of the confusion that may be created by his feelings for her.

Fingers curled around the butt of the gun, turning it to face himself. He stood, moving to stand near the railing. He was at the last step of the journey. The last pace would be taken with the press of that damming trigger. He took one last glance at the photograph, that damming picture that brought him to failure.

He couldn't have continued this way, she couldn't have continued so carefree in her life if she had known. There was one way, one way to please everyone.

Perhaps for once he would do that.

The barrel of the gun moved into his mouth as his elbow curled. Turned up towards his brain. Jason's words were slightly muffled as he spoke his last. "I'll love you always Sam."

The thumb curled around the trigger, pulling backwards. The shot echoed through the silence of the night air. That cracking sound that rushed through the cleared streets.

Jason's body moved backwards with the impact, tumbling over the railing and to the ground below the balcony. The photograph still clasped in his hand. Even in death, he hadn't let go.